I’m not sure I like this one that much, but it’s getting to be the end of the month and I haven’t written anything super spectacular the whole time. I’ll keep trying, but I think this one is pretty okay so I’m going to post it anyways. Things are kind of a mess right now, but they seem to be looking up. A little bit, at least. I’m wary to get my hopes up but maybe things’ll be better this time next month.

You’ve emptied me out, did you know that? I’m waiting to feel those butterflies but I think you took them with you when you left. God, I never thought I’d miss them. I’ve been colouring my lips for other boys, doing my hair, wishing I still bled red instead of dust. The funny thing is that your eyes don’t make me blush anymore, it’s just no one else’s can either. I met a boy last week with the sweetest smile, and god, I almost leaned in right then and there. I wanted to lean in right then and there. No, that’s not quite right. I wanted to want him. I think you broke me, honey. I think you took all my love for yourself and never gave me any in return. I miss my butterflies, honey. I wish you’d give them back.