Hi!! This one is refreshingly hopeful, which is exactly what I wanted to get across with it. Things have been really bad lately, and I finally broke down and pushed, and there finally feels like there’s some hope for things to be better, some semblance of a reassurance that I don’t have to suffer for the rest of time.

There’s a new taste in my mouth, the promise of something more than endless days to step through. It’s bitter, but my tears come freely now, and there’s something like hope in the air. Turns out living isn’t as exhausting with the suggestion of more hanging tantalizingly ten steps ahead of me. There’s a light out there somewhere, and it finally feels like I might be able to find it. The promise of sunlight is something I could get drunk on, get burnt from, get destroyed by. But god, the darkness has been suffocating for the longest time; I ran out of warmth before I had a word for the loss. Burn me and fill me up, I’m tired but I’m still here, still kicking.

Hi!! My writing has not… been… happening lately. But it’s fine we’re fine!  July’s almost done, and I haven’t written anything in a while, so this is a piece I wrote a month or so ago that I don’t mind. Here it is!!

This is my unbecoming. Make me translucent, kiss me with white lips and glassy eyes. Push me underwater, pull every ounce of me out of my body and fill me up again. I never asked to be here, but listen to me now, I’m begging to be undone, unmet, unsung. I’m still spinning in a haze of carnival destruction, push me away and pull me back again. This is a peaches-and-cream night, the faint smell of rum in the air. Undo me here, where the world tastes like jam and smoke, where I feel this reckless sense of belonging. I will unbecome myself, go back. Kiss me, pull away too soon. I’m ready.