I think this is my seventh anniversary of this blog, so here’s a post I wrote just recently!!

How much do you remember from that night? I still wake up sweating sometimes, seeing my own madness stare up at me, knowing without a doubt that it will be my job to save you. I always thought you were going to be the one to make it out unscathed, and feeling you writhe in my arms ruined that fantasy. You’re doing better these days, I think. You don’t need to be held down anymore, you can see the future come at you without flinching, and you are braver than I think I was before you came along. Even so, I am terrified of waking up one morning to learn that you have once again started to clench your fists with each breath, to learn that I am loving a person you can no longer stand to be. I need you to know that every time the darkness comes down, it will lift again. That there are ways to keep the fog at bay, to make sleep come more easily, to make breathing less laborious. I need you to know that if there is one thing I do before I go, it will be to save you. I will save you. Please, just let me save you.