Hello everyone, I know it’s been a while but I’m going to try to start posting again. I will not let this site die!

Hey. It’s been a minute, and I know that’s completely my doing. I’m writing to you as a person you used to love, but haven’t loved for a while. Also my doing, and also something I regret. I turn 20 years old this year, and I have spent the majority of the past two years trying to turn myself into a version of me that you wouldn’t recognize, someone who was different from the person you let leave. Nearly everything I’ve done has been mirrored through your eyes as I try to figure out what you would think of me now, if you could love this person I’ve created, if this person might have been worth keeping around. It hurt, but I honestly think it might have saved me. I might have done it because of you, but I’ve grown into a person I think my eighteen-year-old self would be proud of. Yesterday I realized I did something without wondering how it would look to you, and I think that’s progress. I think I’m done using your eyes to look through.